I don't really have the right words to convey how I feel this morning other than to say overwhelmed. I want to ignore the media coverage of what happened in CT, but I have trouble turning it off. Friends lost a father last night; a chemo friend is going through a very difficult time; our pastor's wife is losing her mother soon. On her way out the door this morning Rory told me she's scared to spend the night somewhere else in case I'm not here when she gets back (she and Camden are staying with Gram and Gramps tonight). While I've never been the person who thought life should have an "easy" button, why does it have to be this hard?
There's really only one option for me and that's to continue to choose to trust. Trust verses like Psalms 103:19 which says, "The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,and his kingdom rules over all." or Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you or forsake you." or John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Sometimes it's easy to believe these promises. Today it takes every ounce of strength in my body and every ounce of will power in my head to read and believe and move forward without fear.
And despite how my mood sounds this morning, we really did have a good weekend. Sandwiched in between the sleepless nights and moments alone that gave me too much time for sad thoughts, we wrapped Christmas presents (Yes, I let the kids help. And, yes, this is always a better idea in theory than in actual practice.), made homemade gifts, celebrated Christmas with Brian's family.
I even surprised Camden and Rory with little snowmen for breakfast Saturday morning, and their screams of joy woke me up. ;) You know I am easily the least crafty mom on the planet, but even I could handle these. They are just the little white sugary donuts with orange and green Mike & Ike candies cut in half for buttons, then a fruit roll-up for the scarf and teeny bits of a chocolate chip for the eyes.
Thank you, Brian, for snapping these pictures of the kids with their snowmen.
(Why, yes, Rory is still in a booster seat at the age of 6. That's what happens when you don't even make the growth charts.)
With Gram and Gramps - they're leaving town so we celebrated Christmas a little early.